Monday, October 18, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
If you are just now joining me, you can catch up on the first part of Addisyn's story here.
... So I woke up on my first morning of being home on bedrest and did the usual... Headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, etc. Immediately I noticed I was bleeding again and quickly called James to the bathroom. When I told him I was bleeding, his exact words were, "You have got to be kidding me!" He helped me get dressed, sat me down on the couch, and went in to get PJ up and dressed. We quickly got in the car and sped through all of the Monday morning traffic in a rush to Labor & Delivery triage. This car ride was mighty familiar to a ride I took on January 1, 2008~ a few weeks after PJ was born. I kept freaking out telling James that I couldn't feel her moving and that I was crampy. We called the nurses to let them know I was on my way and they met me downstairs with a wheelchair. They immediately got me back to a room, started IV's in both hands, and all at once it was deja'vu to just 8 days before. I anxiously awaited them to hook me to a monitor so I could hear the sweet swooshing of my baby girl's heartbeat. Once they confirmed everything was fine with Addisyn, and that the bleeding was under control, it all started sinking in... This time, there would be no going home until I was (hopefully) bringing my little miracle home with me. The same dr. was on call from when I had to be admitted just 8 days before, and she quickly called up to ACU to see if my same room was available. Luckily, it was, so that I didn't have to get adjusted to being in a different room. I stayed the night in L&D just so that they could ensure I was stable and then the following morning I was wheeled back up to my old room in ACU.
I spent the next 4 weeks there, living one minute at a time... not knowing when I would bleed bad enough where they had to rush me to the OR and deliver Addisyn.... not knowing whether or not I would take my sweet baby home with me, or if she would be stuck struggling and fighting in the NICU. The doctors had me on medicine to prevent all of these things from happening, and with each day that passed where I still carried her in my body, I was able to breathe a bit easier. As down as I got about things, the one thing that kept me going was the vision of the day that I would hold her in my arms, PJ sitting in my lap, staring at her lovingly and stroking her head of dark brown hair (that I just assumed she would have.)
I got through the days with the help of a very special group of women I "met" on a Bed Rest board on Babycenter.com. These women were in the same situation I was, although for different reasons. To say that a few of these ladies have impacted my life in such an amazing way barely even begins to touch the surface of how much they mean to me. They have become my forever friends and I will never be able to repay them for what they did for me. I am happy to say that all of them have already had their little miracles since Addisyn's birth and that all the Mamas and babies are happy, healthy, and thriving. During the day we would text, chat on Facebook, send eachother messages, talk about our fears, problems, issues, etc. We all connected in such a way that we held nothing back. The days flew by and I had night time visits from my boys to look forward to. I savored those few hours each night where me and the boys would eat dinner together, watch a few cartoons and go on my daily wheelchair ride. I would wait in the bed while James and PJ would go into the hallway to find a wheelchair. James would wheel it into the room with PJ sitting on it, smiling from ear to ear. He was so proud to bring me the chair to ride on. We would head downstairs to the parking area in front of the Women's Pavillion and take a few laps, PJ holding my hand and walking alongside me. When PJ had enough walking, and we began the trip up the elevator and back to the third floor, a lump would form in my throat. It was inevitable. Our visit was almost over. Every night, James would bring PJ to visit, and every night my heart broke as I watched them leave the hospital. As sorry as I wanted to feel for myself, I thought about what it did to them. My little boy thought his Mommy lived in a hospital. That feeling of my heart literally being torn from my chest as I heard him yell, "Bye Bye Mommy!" repeatedly as James took him towards the elevator, is a feeling I won't soon forget. My nurse Kelly would come in as soon as they would leave and embrace me with a huge hug and sit and chat with me for awhile until the tears stopped flowing. Then I would get back on the computer and chat with my bedrest ladies who would certainly cheer me up. At 11:00 it was shift change and another of my favorite angels, Sally, would come in to take care of me and Addisyn. We would listen to her heartbeat as we discussed our days. I felt like I was surrounded by family all the time!
Of course my friends and family came daily to check on me and visit. It was so nice to hear about what everyone else was doing, and just to have people come sit and watch TV with me for a while. My little twin cousins made a countdown for me to post on my wall. One of the highlights of my days was when I got to put up the new number! My best friend Marie came and gave me pedicures and visited just about every day with her little man Jonathan. I had dear friends bring me sushi and even chips and salsa with gatorade shots on Cinco de Mayo. To say that I had a great support system doesn't even cover it!
The days seemed like they were going by faster and faster, and finally it was June 1st. Addisyn would be born the next day!
James stayed with me that night and we attempted to watch movies and eat ice cream up until I was NPO. My nurse Sally took my IV's out and let me go the night without them in. What an awesome feeling that was!!!
She came in at 5:30 am to wake me up to take a shower and get ready for the c-section. She put in my IV (which I prayed would be the last one I would have to have) and wheeled me down to Labor and Delivery where they began prepping me for surgery. They started by giving me fluids and an antibiotic through my IV in order to prevent infection. I also had to take an antacid because of all the medicine they would be pumping me full of, during and after the surgery. Then, we waited... and waited.... and waited.... and.waited... for what seemed like an eternity. The nurse finally came back in and said it was time to go. They actually let me WALK to the OR. Now, I know to most people that doesn't sound like anything special... but to someone who had been laying in a bed for 5 WEEKS, it was a huge deal! James had to wait in the original room they wheeled me down to. He would have to wait there until just before they began the surgery. The nurses, who had all taken care of me, were smiling and clapping as they watched me walk down the long hallway. It was almost like one of those movies you see where the person gets a standing ovation. I was grinning from ear to ear, walking hand in hand with my night nurse Sally. (Did I mention that she STAYED after working from 11pm at night until 7am the following morning just to be with me during the c-section???- Talk about amazing)
So anyway, I walk into the OR (which is nothing like on TV) and sit down on this table. Nurse Sally stood in front of me and told me to make a "C" with my back (just like they tell you to do with an epidural). The anesthesiologist pushed around on my spine and I felt a small pinch. Before I knew it, they told me to lay down quickly and all at once they were putting things on my belly, and the next thing I knew was there was a blue sheet in front of me. James finally came in and they were going to get started. I felt like I couldn't breathe... I found out later that it was because of the spinal block and how much they have to push everything around down there to get the baby out. If I felt nauseous, I told Sally who would tell the anesthesiologist who would give me something to quickly take it away. I remember hearing lots of noises and asking lots of questions... I kept asking Sally when she would be out. It seemed like it was taking forever!!! Sally told me that I would hear my water breaking, and then it would be really soon when I would hear her cry.... Sure enough I heard them break my water, felt a strong push and pull (not painful) and heard the sweet cries of my angel. Addisyn Lynn was born at 7:59am (just 14 minutes after I walked in to the OR) weighing 7 lbs. 6 oz. and measuring 19 1/2 inches. I could see them working on her just a few feet away from me and I kept asking if she was okay, and was she breathing alright, and would she have to spend time in the NICU. She was perfectly healthy, and I realized then that all the waiting, bed-resting, etc. was over. I was finally going to have my dream of leaving the hospital, holding my baby girl, walking hand and hand with my husband and son. It was over... But it was really just beginning!
Holding my sweet Addisyn for the first time!
The next few days were moments where I felt in and out of conciousness. We had lots of visitors, did lots of walking, and minimal sleeping. I was trying to rehabilitate my body and take care of a newborn. Our family also faced another challenge which was the passing of my husband's grandmother almost exactly 12 hours after Addisyn's birth. And so goes the circle of life.Getting her hearing screening. Isn't this cute?!?! She looks like she is rockin' out to some good tunes!
I remember laying in the hospital bed, smiling from ear to ear, and telling James how I just felt complete. I was so happy to be healthy and to have the rest of our family be healthy. On Friday, June 4th, we were released to go home to start our new lives as a family of 4!
PJ meeting his baby sister for the first time!
Just a few of the amazing nurses that took care of us!
Getting my pretty princess all dressed and ready to go home!
GOING HOME... FINALLY!